Hope(less) (Judgment of the Six) Page 5

  I stayed on my side of the tape watching their retreating forms. The door on their side of the room opened so they could file out. It felt weird not learning their names as I usually did in an informal Introduction. But I knew this typical of a formal Introduction. Any interested werewolf would remain on their taped mark allowing the others to step back to leave. This would give Sam a moment to note them. Anyone on his list would have an opportunity for a second Introduction where we would actually converse. The second round had more danger.

  Movement in the recently vacated doorway broke my chain of thoughts. The doorway stood empty for only a moment before ten more entered.

  Breaking protocol, I glanced at Sam. He watched the men entering the room still not making eye contact with me. Without narrowing my eyes like I really wanted to, I focused on the men making their way to their marks. In this group, all of them aged over forty. I repeated the process from the first group meeting each of their eyes and walking past them while introducing myself. One appeared to have the start of a black eye.

  I thanked them for meeting me and watched one remain on his mark while the rest marched out. The remaining man watched Sam make a note then nodded at me before turning to leave.

  Again, ten more filed in as soon as the room emptied. This felt wrong. Too rushed. They weren’t even waiting the full five minutes once the men stood on their marks.

  Instead of moving forward toward my line, I put my hands behind my back and kept my eyes on the ground thinking. The rules said that the Elders would not interfere unless they perceived danger. They would not speak unless it was imperative to my wellbeing to ensure no outside influence to any decision I might make regarding my choice of mate. That rule made it impossible to ask Sam for an explanation and actually get an answer.

  Why did they change the pattern now? Why on the last visit? What were they trying to accomplish using this method over the informal Introductions? The unmated males entered ten at a time and faster than the normal five minutes.

  I looked at the taped line by my toes. The crisp tape looked new even though I’d heard from Henry and Paul, still my best sources of information these past two years, that it hadn’t been replaced in years. It looked new because it had never been walked on, never crossed. You leave by the door you enter. That’s the rule. Rules are meant to be broken. Answers waited beyond the opposite door.

  Decided, I looked up and stepped to the line meeting each of the unmated males’ eyes. While doing so, I noted dried blood under one werewolf’s nose. “It’s nice to meet you,” I said and waited, saying no more. As one, they stepped back to leave and the door swung open.

  “A moment please,” I called out, pausing their progress before they reached the door. All ten turned to look back at me. I broke protocol and crossed the line. Since none of them acknowledged any interest in me, I hoped I’d be safe enough. I could feel the Elders watching me, but didn’t look at them or the unmated males as I walked toward the open door.

  “Gabby, wait,” Sam called.

  I heard him stand and follow me. Hearing him caused my stomach to dip. It meant stepping through the door could compromise my wellbeing. But staying inside wouldn’t get me answers.

  Stepping out onto a packed dirt path, I looked around. The light spilling from the door behind me illuminated a small area. Trees crowded toward the building leaving a small gap of about twenty feet between the tree line and the roofline, causing early dusk. In that cleared space surrounding the back door, I saw about twenty men waiting quietly near the trees. I frowned, puzzled. I’d expected to see much more given the rushed Introductions. Something still felt off.

  Closing my eyes, I breathed deep, concentrating. Tiny sparks flashed around me in the darkness. Sam, I saw, stood to my right. His spark glowed steadily not blinking at all. The group of twenty was different.

  Some of the werewolves’ lights blinked like strobes. Some faster, some slower. Some so slow, I at first thought they might have left. As I studied them, it began to make sense. I wasn’t seeing werewolves running quickly all over the place, rather an arrhythmic indication of a werewolf’s location. I focused beyond the twenty. Lights too numerous to count stood out in the darkness. It would take hours to get through the Introductions.

  I opened my eyes already knowing that the group of twenty had doubled. I studied their faces noting more bruising and blood. Some men dressed in jeans and shirts, while others wore clothes too filthy from fighting to identify. Seeing the filth and blood, I understood why they wanted to rush the Introductions. Too many werewolves had arrived for this and the mating challenges the Elders feared had begun.

  I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. Anger churned in my stomach at Sam for not telling me. I felt tricked and yet sad for the men waiting.

  “Sam,” I said turning my gaze on him. There was nothing playful in my look. I wanted to tell him that I would never forgive him for this, but knew the werewolves listening would take my words as a rejection. It would take away what little hope they had facing these numbers. Instead, I let my look conveyed everything I felt.

  Had all the prior Introductions been a farce, a game to keep me from running until they could arrange the real thing? How strongly were they determined to see me mated? Would they let me leave unmated? Had my thoughts of college been a dream? No. Not a dream. I wouldn’t give up.

  He lowered his gaze breaking eye contact, something he never did first. Good. He knew.

  Blinking slowly, I turned away studying the growing crowd. I’d lived among them enough to know not to show intimidation. They respected strength. With their hearing, I didn’t need to raise my voice. Even those still hidden within the trees would hear me.

  “No more fighting.” Using all the authority I could muster, I said, “There’s no need to wait and fight for your place in tonight’s Introduction. I will meet you all. Start a line here and I’ll walk it. If I am not right for you, there is no need for you to remain after I’ve passed you. You may leave and know that I am honored with your presence here tonight.”

  Chapter 4

  Men stepped silently from the trees, moving to create a line as I’d asked. With so little space between the building and the tree line, the line extended around the corner of the building. Men kept emerging from the woods until roughly five hundred of them gathered. Even with the line extending around the corner, the men crowded several lines deep. Too many for a single line.

  Starting at the right, toward the front of the wing housing the Introduction room, I moved to the first man, nodded stoically, and then turned to start walking slowly down the line. The Elders kept pace with me. I didn’t bother pausing to meet anyone’s eyes. Only my scent mattered to them.

  As I asked, those without a strong interest, turned to walk back into the woods allowing those behind them to step forward into their place in line. I paced the line several times in silence so all would get their fair chance. As I paced and the number remaining decreased, my mood lightened. Sam made note of names as needed.

  Soon only a handful of men remained. While my future loomed brighter, theirs dimmed. I truly felt for them, but I’d experienced no attraction to any of them… no pull that Sam and other Elders and werewolves had assured me I would feel when meeting the one. I nodded solemnly to those remaining and watched them melt back into the trees. A triumphant smile wanted to break free, but I contained it not wanting to offend anyone. Finally, my duty was complete. I breathed deeply of freedom, ready to go back to my room.

  Behind me, the Elders moved, reminding me of their presence. My mood shifted. The anger and betrayal from their lack of warning resurfaced. With a stiff back and tight mouth, I made my way back toward the door and the waiting Elders. I didn’t meet any of their eyes.

  Sam had hours during the drive up here to say something and all of his secrecy for nothing. I hadn’t found a mate. Did he realize the pointlessness of his gesture? I seriously doubted telling me in advance would have changed the outcome other than increasing my nervousness during the drive up. Though, that could mean that I shouldn’t be mad at him if the result would have remained the same either way… Frowning, I disregarded that thought. Honesty was honesty. He should have told me.

  Walking the dirt path toward the door, which I realized I’d tread over several times in my socks, I saw a peculiar shadow on the ground melding with the shadow of the still open door.

  Looking up at the space behind the door, I saw the flash of eyes just before a man stepped out into view. I froze. My stomach dropped and my heart did a strange little flip. Before I could take my next breath, a shiver ran up my spine and gooseflesh rose on my arms as my anger spiked uncontrolled.

  “You have got to be kidding,” I whispered to myself without thinking. I’d been so close to escaping.

  His filthy long dark hair trailed in front of his eyes shadowing his face into obscurity. An old dull-green army jacket hung from his frame as filthy as his hair while his bare feet shone pale against the black sweats he wore. I couldn’t tell his age, the color of his hair, or the color of his eyes through the tangle of hair, but could see the glint of them as he moved away from the door stalking close to me.

  I remained frozen, trying to deny the significance of the encounter as my stomach continued to do crazy little flips. Just before he reached me, he turned away and walked around the corner of the building, heading not into the woods as the rest had, but to the front of the building.

  I stared after him, momentarily confused. I struggled to think coherently to get my feet moving again, my thoughts jumbled. He’d recognized me. Just as I had him. Why had he turned away? Did it matter? Move! Escape before he changed his mind!

  Finally lurching toward the door, I said in a rush, “Sam, I’ve more than fulfilled any obligation I had to you or the pack.” The Elders stepped aside before I bowled them over. “I’d like to leave tonight,” I added walking past him and the other Elders.

  I didn’t wait at the door but walked through the Introduction room to the interior hall, pausing only to pull off my dirt-caked socks. Charlene would have me cleaning floors if I walked through the halls in my dirty socks.

  Maneuvering through the fortuitously quiet and empty halls, I struggled to control my emotions, or at least tamp them down. Over the years, I’d learned control, knowing those around me would be able to smell things like fear, anger, lust, or even sadness, but tonight all that control evaporated. Anger and fear swamped me. Anger at Sam for arranging the whole damn thing and fear that the Elders knew what just happened.

  I’d been so close to freedom. Sam had set me up, stacking the odds against me with the sheer number of werewolves in attendance. Why would it have to be the very last one I saw that sent a bolt of lightning right into my stomach? Was it too much to ask for just one break in my life?

  Self-pity began to flood me and then a spark of hope surfaced. Could it be possible that no one noticed? Maybe they’d attribute my reaction to the way he looked. I turned a corner, almost to our rooms. If I didn’t acknowledge him in front of others, then it didn’t count, right?

  I let myself into the apartment I shared with Sam and headed straight to my room, grabbing my bag from the bed, glad I hadn’t unpacked.

  Moving quickly, I went to Sam’s bed and zipped his bag closed just as he walked through the door, his grey hair slightly mussed. When agitated he tended to run his hands through his hair. Good. He deserved a little agitation to match my own.

  Immediately spotting me standing beside his things, he met my gaze. Now, after the Introduction completed and he’d gotten his way. “Now Gabby,” he started in his soothing tone.

  “Stop.” I held up a hand to forestall him from saying anything else and keeping my temper in check. He might not know he’d gotten his way. Even if he did know, he didn’t deserve the pithy remarks running through my head. He deserved my respect for all he’d done for me in the past, for everything he’d shielded me from. Still, I wasn’t going to listen to anything else tonight. Amazingly, he didn’t try to continue.

  Holding his bag in my hands with my own bag over my shoulder, I asked “Are you driving me or not?”

  Nodding slowly, he held out his hand for his bag. I surrendered it wondering what I’d do when we got home. I still had a whole summer ahead of me. A summer filled with two jobs and roommate interviews. Would he let me leave like I’d planned? I followed him out the door, closing it softly behind me. I knew I couldn’t escape this place permanently because of my tie to these people, but I hoped not to close this door again for a long while.

  Sam’s easy stride annoyed me within two steps. Was he stalling? I took matters in my own hands and strode past him to get to the entrance. The longer we stayed, the more likely I’d run into that guy again. According to the information I’d gleaned over the years, he shouldn’t have turned away in the first place. Maybe he hadn’t been attracted to me.

  Since I had no socks on, I had to slide my bare feet into my tennis shoes, which felt wrong, but I didn’t want to waste time to stop and put on socks. Scalp prickling with tension, I struggled to pull the crimped back of my shoe out from where it’d wedged when I’d crammed my foot into stupid thing. My gaze darted around the room searching for any sign of him. Sam continued his leisurely pace, just stepping into the entry as I tugged on the door.

  Nerves strung tight, I almost screamed at the sight of someone standing illuminated by the yard light on edge of the porch directly in front of the door. Instead, I only stopped abruptly. Not someone. Many someone’s. A whole group of werewolves. For that split second when I’d opened the door, I thought he had returned for me.

  The men fortunately didn’t notice me, or my near heart attack, too busy watching something in the parking lot. Standing shoulder to shoulder, they blocked my view. I didn’t really care what had them so engrossed, I wanted to go home.

  I heard Sam behind me and muttered a quick ‘excuse me’ moving around the small group. It took me less than a second to see the object of their attention. Once I spotted it, I couldn’t look away.

  Sam’s truck had exploded. Ok, maybe not literally, but that’s what it looked like at first glance. The detached hood leaned against the right front fender. Dark shapes littered the ground directly in front of the truck. My mouth popped open when I realized I looked at scattered pieces of the truck’s guts. Little pieces, big pieces, some covered in sludge. Deep inside, I groaned a desperate denial. Not Sam’s truck. I needed it.

  A clanking sound drew my attention from the carnage to the form bent over the front grill. He studied the gaping hole that had once lovingly cradled an engine – one with enough life to drive me home. He did this, the last man I’d met.

  Sam’s voice directly behind me made me jump. “Gabby, honey, I don’t think he wants you to go just yet.”

  My heart sank. Not only did the man’s actions screamed loud and clear, she’s mine, but Sam’s calm statement confirmed my worst fear. The Elders had noticed. My stomach clenched with dread for a moment. I wrestled with my emotions. No, it didn’t matter who noticed. I wasn’t giving up or giving in. I’d told Sam I’d come to the Introductions. I never agreed to follow their customs.

  “There’s more than one vehicle here,” I said calmly.

  “If we go inside to ask anyone else,” Sam said, “we’ll come back to more vehicular murder.”

  I turned to look at Sam. He watched the man and probably his truck. He was right. I wouldn’t ask anyone else to deal with this guy’s obvious mental disorder by asking for a ride. As soon as that thought entered my mind, I felt a little guilty. I usually didn’t judge people. I preferred to avoid them altogether. But this guy made himself hard to ignore.

  “Fine.” I shouldered my bag, packed light for these weekends on the premise that, if you over packed, you could be talked into staying longer. Easily light enough to walk a few miles carrying it. I turned and walked toward the main gate, pretending I didn’t hear Sam’s ominous warning.

  “You won’t get far,” he said softly behind me.

  The yard light’s luminosity didn’t extend under the branches canopying the compound’s dirt road. I marched toward the distinct boundary between light and dark with a hint of anxiety. The dark didn’t concern me as much as the things hiding within it. But my fear of what I’d felt toward that grimy man overshadowed any concern I had crossing over that boundary. Darkness blanketed me. I slowed while my eyes adjusted.

  Crickets sang and night creatures distantly rustled in the undergrowth, nothing loud enough to concern me. Still, I used my other sight to watch for signs of pursuit. None of the sparks from the yard moved to follow me.

  My fear kept me walking for miles, constantly watching for signs of pursuit. No werewolves ever entered within the perimeter of my other gaze though I thought I spotted a bear. Maybe a werewolf escort wouldn’t have been so bad.

  Hours later, tired beyond imagining, and feeling satisfied that Sam’s dire predictions turned out to be false, I spotted a motel ahead. The empty parking lot screamed vacancy better than the creepy flickering red sign mounted in the office’s window. My feet and legs hurt too much to ignore the opportunity to rest. Sighing, I pushed open the office door and rented a room for the night with the emergency cash I always carried. My plan remained simple enough. In the morning, I would find the nearest bus station and buy a ticket home or as close to home as possible.

  Key in hand, I walked to the door matching my key number and let myself in. Turning on the lights, I closed the door behind me and grimaced at the room. It smelled musty, looked worn, and didn’t inspire any thoughts of recently washed sheets. Pulling off my shoes, I set them near the door. About an hour into the walk with no one following me, I’d stopped to put on socks.

  I padded across the dirty carpet making my way toward the bathroom thankful for the protection of the socks. The shower curtain looked brand new, but the tub and floor hadn’t seen a scrub brush in months. I used the toilet, but didn’t look at it closely before or after. Sometimes ignorance was bliss.