Hope(less) (Judgment of the Six) Page 4

  The way I figured it, I’d fulfilled my end of our deal. I’d finished my final exams yesterday, and passed all my classes, of course. I’d opted not to attend my graduation on Saturday. They could mail me my diploma. I’d rather not put this visit off for another week. I wanted to move on. After this weekend, I’d start working to save up what I could before moving on to college.

  His familiar morning scowl didn’t solely relate to the end of our agreement. Sam and mornings didn’t mesh well. I’d realized that as soon as I’d moved in with him. Once we developed our simple routine, he tolerated mornings better. I woke up first and started a pot of coffee, not my drink of preference in the morning.

  Sam without his coffee amused me, but it felt slightly cruel to witness. He stumbled and mumbled until he had his caffeine. With his werewolf metabolism, I doubted it really did anything for him, but he drank the pot himself anyway. I, on the other hand, usually grabbed a quick bowl of cereal or oatmeal after an even quicker shower and ran out the door for school, leaving him to his “Elder” obligations during the day.

  I worked at a day spa as a receptionist after school as much as I could. After moving in with Sam, I’d discovered having work commitments ensured he couldn’t talk me into going to the compound more than we’d bargained. Sam was a great role model for responsibility and planning. It’s what he did for the pack. Knowing I’d need the means to get an education and support myself, he never tried talking me out of working. So, I worked and I tried to bank enough money to hold me over while I went to school.

  Staying with Sam had been good for both of us, I thought as I measured out the coffee grounds. I kept him company outside the compound, and he provided me with the information I needed about the werewolves and the pack community over the last two years. Although Sam had shared so much of the werewolves’ life and culture, I knew I still didn’t know everything. And he’d kept me safe.

  As an Elder of the pack, Sam was extremely down to earth and wise. He carefully thought through all decisions with a deliberate calm that I admired. He didn’t think of himself when making any decision, only the pack. The welfare of the pack ruled his life. Thankfully, even though he hadn’t managed to tie me to anyone, he considered me part of the pack. That meant, when I talked, he listened with his full attention, which I really did like.

  Coffee brewing, I leaned against the counter and openly smirked at Sam. “Come on, don’t be pouty about this. We made a deal and I stuck to it. I’ve met more man-dogs,” my made up term amused him, “than I can remember. Some, even twice.”

  I pushed away from the counter walking behind his chair. Resting my forearms on his shoulders, I rolled them outward pressing down with my full weight. The tension slowly left his shoulders and I rested my chin on his head. Yeah, I was that short compared to him.

  “Tell me you’re going to be okay without me here,” I whispered.

  I couldn’t remember my real grandpa, but over the last two years, Sam had filled the roll to the letter, despite our rough start. I knew he’d managed his own coffee in the morning for years before I moved in with him, but I still wondered what he’d do.

  He sighed gustily and reached back to pat my cheek, the extent of affection I allowed with hm. It had been a gradual progress to work up to it. He knew most physical contact made me uncomfortable. He understood it and never seemed offended by it. I’d held myself away from people for so long, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be completely comfortable with casually touching anyone.

  “You know I will,” he said sounding tired. He shoulders sagged beneath my touch and he said, “I don’t understand why you won’t go to the community college here. Out of state is so expensive.”

  I stood up, moving away from him and said, “No, it won’t be. I have scholarships and aid because of being a foster.” I made my way to the coffee enjoying the warm breeze that brushed past the kitchen curtains to swirl around the room. As I poured him a cup, I continued defending my choice. “Besides, you know very well why I’m going out of state.”

  It was an old argument. My place in pack society, forever the bachelorette, bothered me. I wanted out. No other female went through such a long Introduction period. Over the last two years, I’d become the one all the guys wanted to meet and hoped to Claim by the end of the weekend. Though they treated me with kind hopefulness, my attitude toward finding a mate hadn’t changed. I didn’t want one. So two years of being the family disappointment was enough.

  “I want my own life before someone tries to take it over. Sam, I’ve always had to follow other people’s rules. I want to live by my own rules for a while.”

  Sam harrumphed, “What rules have I ever enforced on you?”

  Handing him his cup, I gave him a steady look.

  “Besides insisting on the Introductions,” he mumbled. He dropped his gaze to the proffered cup, accepting it with a lack of enthusiasm.

  Not meeting my eyes, he blew on the brew, turning the cup in a circle on the table before he began to sip it slowly. He seemed unexpectedly guilty for such an innocent remark. Suspicious, I continued to study his face waiting for him to look up again.

  Though I chafed at his rules, they were simple enough. Go to the Introductions. Spend the weekends getting to know the pack and the pack laws. Never stay out past dark without a way to get home, which meant a ride from Sam since owning my own car made him uncomfortable. How could he not see he completely controlled my life with those rules?

  Though I understood the reason for them, it didn’t make them more palatable. The very real draw men felt when near me had only grown stronger as I matured, making time alone risky. Sam had insisted on enrolling me in self-defense classes, which had come in handy until the instructor started suggesting one on one training sessions a bit too loudly in class. Before bailing on the class though, I’d learned enough to keep men at bay, but not werewolves. Even knowing I had no protection against them other than Sam didn’t stop me from wanting to try it out on my own. Although Sam’s rules were simple, they weren’t mine.

  “It won’t be safe,” Sam interrupted my thoughts. He looked up from his half-empty cup. “You know it won’t be safe.”

  “Sam, I’ll get a dog.” I could see by his expression that he was gearing up for another round in an old debate. Why couldn’t he understand that I’d rather get a dog than be mated to a werewolf?

  Hurrying around him for the bathroom down the hall, I called back over my shoulder, “I better go shower. We don’t want to keep the wolves waiting.” I spun into the bathroom, shutting the door with a snick to stop any further objections.

  * * * *

  Just before dinnertime, I pushed open the door of Sam’s old pickup and ignoring its groan of protest climbed out. My feet crunched on the familiar gravel parking area of the compound. Still rundown and needing repairs, the familiar compound exuded welcome. With a twinge, I realized I’d probably miss these frequent visits.

  Pushing the door closed, I reached around to the bed of the truck and grabbed my canvas bag looking around at the other vehicles. “There a pack meeting tonight?” I asked Sam.

  I couldn’t remember ever seeing so many cars before. Oddly, for the number parked in the yard, the compound was quiet. Usually before a meeting, groups of people stood outside, talking, renewing acquaintances. Though quiet outside, thin glowing lines of light escaped from behind thick curtains in many of the windows on the main house. Definitely, a full house tonight. But why stay inside?

  Sam just grunted in response to my question, shouldering his own bag and headed toward the main building.

  I studied Sam’s back. He certainly seemed rushed. He’d even sped this trip, getting us here in just over seven hours. We’d only stopped once for a five minute, gas-up, eat, and pee break. I hadn’t questioned why, but it was unusual.

  The whole trip he’d stayed unusually quiet, pensive. I didn’t mind the quiet, but he generally updated me on current pack activity during the drive to the compound. Bored, I’d alternated between listening to my mp3 player and watching the passing country in silence.

  I turned a slow circle, taking everything in, breathing deeply, and started to focus. In two years, my sight had expanded so I could see much further in the vast darkness of my mind. It didn’t exhaust me as quickly as it used to. Some sparks came in strong, glowing brightly like a newly replaced light bulb. Others were weak, more like a lightning bug’s glow. I didn’t know why, it just was.

  I closed my eyes and continued to turn a slow circle, breathing in and out in a deep steady rhythm. At the compound, focusing was harder. The lights of the werewolves tended to flash in and out of focus regardless of how bright or dim I perceived them. I attributed it to their amazing speed, thinking I only watched them move. Since I hadn’t yet shared this ability with Sam, I couldn’t confirm my suspicion.

  In the darkness behind my closed eyes, I saw the usual flashes of light, but the flashes jumped around in a pattern that made me dizzy. I could see flashes in the compound and many in the wooded area surrounding the compound and beyond.

  I stopped turning before I made myself lightheaded. When I opened my eyes, facing the wood to the right of the compound just inside the gate, I felt watched. Not moving, I listened. Nothing but silence and my own breathing. Shrugging, I turned away from the trees to walk toward the main building. If a werewolf lingered out here with me, they would show themselves, or not, depending on their nature and if I’d already been introduced to them.

  Several men I’d never met exited through the main entrance as I stepped up onto the porch. Two gave me kind but dispassionate, perhaps even indifferent, nods of greeting. Mated. The other two watched me alertly and nodded politely. Unmated. I nodded a greeting in return and walked past them, safe with the mated males nearby. Pack law; protect unmated females from unmated males. Another pack law; don’t place yourself in a situation where you’ll be alone with an unmated male or it could be seen as acceptance of his suit.

  Stepping inside, I noticed more men further down the long hall that branched from the main entry headed my way. Kicking off my shoes, I nodded and I walked past them. Again, a mated male amidst the unmated.

  With a tingle of apprehension, I hurried toward the apartment assigned to us. The same one we’d first stayed in, but with big improvements. The sparsely furnished studio apartment with tiny bedroom now had a mini kitchen, which included a sink, dishes and mini fridge. It still lacked appliances for cooking since we all took meals with the rest of the pack in the commons, which had the communal kitchen. The kitchenettes in the apartments were there just for private convenience.

  Sam had already thrown his bag on the foldout couch in the living room when I walked through the apartment door. I walked past him tossing my bag on my own bed thinking of the changes I’d seen in this small area since my first visit. Under the sofa, a plush rug protected the refinished hardwood floors. Pictures decorated the walls and various knickknacks adorned the room, just a few of Charlene’s efforts to make it homier for those staying here. Sam and I had priority on this apartment, but I knew visiting mated werewolves used it when we weren’t scheduled to.

  Back in the living room, I watched Sam for a few moments trying to puzzle out his mood. The last few informal Introductions had been less than typical with an unusually high number of unmated males coming to the compound from greater distances. I figured this one would be no different. Maybe he worried about the number attending.

  “So, when do we get started?” I paced around the room enjoying standing after the long drive.

  “Soon as you’re ready I guess.” Sam stood over his bag riffling in the bottom, looking for something.

  “How many this weekend?” I asked, turning from my pacing to watch him.

  He didn’t look at me. In fact, he seemed to be making an effort not to look at me and had been making that effort since breakfast. My stomach wanted to do a flip, but I firmly smashed down my emotions. Emotions around werewolves gave you away. They could smell some and hear others. I needed to figure out what was going on before I reacted in anyway. He’d looked guilty at breakfast, hurried to get here, and now wouldn’t meet my eyes.

  He straightened, pencil and paper in his hand. “I’m not sure,” he said still not meeting my gaze. He kept himself busy by tucking the pencil into the spiral of the notebook. “All of the Elders put a call out since it’s your last one. Ready?”

  “Yep.” I fell into step behind him and asked, “So, what does that mean?”

  “That there are more ears than usual,” he tossed over his shoulder as he opened the door for me, a reminder that others could hear what we said. We moved out into the hallway. A werewolf fun fact to keep in mind at all times… their excellent hearing.

  Sam typically stayed very open with me, but something definitely felt different about tonight. I followed him down the hall, our footfalls echoing softly on the hardwood floor.

  Despite my effort to not react in any way to the oddities I kept noticing, a tension built inside of me. Not about the Introductions. I’d grown used to those. They could throw as many unmated at me as they wanted. I knew it wouldn’t work. In the two years, not once had I felt any physical interest in any werewolf. There’d been some nice ones I’d enjoyed talking to, but nothing more. No spark that Sam insisted I’d feel. He’d stressed that whatever I felt, the male would feel infinitely stronger, a compulsion that they wouldn’t be able to deny.

  No, the tension kept building as I puzzled over what Sam hid, whatever made him act so nervous and guilty at the same time.

  When we didn’t turn to go to the commons, but instead down the hall I knew housed the infamous Introduction room, his odd behavior made sense. It appeared they would be going old school for my last Introduction. Sam had stressed a formal Introduction could be dangerous to me, so I could understand his nervousness and guilt. But I didn’t understand why they thought this necessary. Did they really think the results would be different?

  “Sam, you should have told me first,” I scolded under my breath, trying to make it as quiet as possible. I knew others would probably hear it anyway.

  He said nothing as he stopped and opened the door at the end of the hall. He motioned me inside. The windowless room with the same comfortable log cabin design as the rest of the compound, held only a few chairs set to the side for Elders to wait and observe. Having Elders in the room meant disputes were resolved quickly and without bloodshed. It also meant better protection for the female.

  Near the center of the room, ten worn X’s taped to the floor formed a gentle arch. A few feet away, a solid line ran from one side of the room to the other, separating the front and back halves of the room. Each side had a door.

  According to tradition, five werewolves would enter from the opposite door, which led outside, and remain in the room for five minutes. The Elders present would watch my reaction to these werewolves and their reactions to me. Five minutes gave enough time for me to introduce myself to them.

  It seemed pointless to me though. Through their own admission, true mates would know within a minute of meeting each other.

  All ten marks came into play during Introductions for older unmated were-females. Once Introductions started, unmated males traveled from distant states until the Elder network announced a claim.

  By nature, the males competed aggressively for a mate since fewer females were available to men. Sam had told me statistically the birth rate was about three to one - male to female. Some thought it nature’s way to keep the werewolf population low. Other’s disagreed, arguing with the very persuasive logic that it didn’t make sense when human females appeared to be evolving to fill in the need.

  Understanding the seriousness of this Introduction, I stood near the door I’d entered. If trouble broke out, I would step through the sturdy, thick door, lock it behind me, and run like hell. It wouldn’t slow a determined werewolf. Without an Elder standing between an oncoming werewolf and me, I wouldn’t stand a chance. Declared a safety zone, I would remain in the hall beyond to wait until the Elders calmed whatever disruption might occur.

  Although the setting had changed, the rules hadn’t. They couldn’t force this on me. It was up to Nature. One more weekend to play it cool and then… done.

  The Elders began to enter behind me. During the informal Introductions in the commons, two to three Elders always remained nearby. If informal Introductions called for at least two Elders, I knew to expect more for a formal Introduction.

  Sam already sat on a folding chair to my left. Gradually, four more filed in; four men, including Sam, and one woman. I’d met Nana Wini two years ago while still learning about Introductions. A kind and patient teacher, she’d explained so much to me. Having her here comforted me and I looked forward to talking to her afterward.

  Once the last Elder sat, without pause, the outer door opened and ten men stalked in. I successfully kept my feelings from my face, but I knew they would smell my confusion. Ten? It explained the extra protection by the Elders.

  Werewolves in their fur were all powerful and vicious, Elders more so because of their position in the pack. In addition to the increased number of Elders, the ages of the werewolves positioning themselves on the X’s ranged from young to old without restriction. Screw Nature. No way would I be even remotely interested in someone old enough to be my father. Especially when I had no clue who my father might be.

  Wanting to get the Introduction over with, I stepped forward so the toes of my socks rested just behind my safety line, and met the eyes of first man. Nodding a greeting, I turned with military precision and paced to the next taped X to meet the second man’s eyes.

  Continuing, I slowly walked down the line meeting the eyes of the third then the fourth, saying, “I’m Gabby. Thank you for coming.” I paced past the fifth and sixth ensuring I made eye contact with all the werewolves standing on the tape and said, “I’m glad I could meet you.”

  Once I’d met the eyes of each man, they all stepped back from the tape and left.